My View of God

Last Sunday afternoon, after church, I decided to go for my bi-monthly pedicure and fill-in. After all, it is the day of rest, how better to enjoy it than two hours away from my regular life sitting in a massage chair, feet soaking in warm bubbly water, a chi-tea latte from Panera and getting beautified. Well, I arrived a few minutes before they were opened, so naturally I just had to go to the Panera next door. That's where I got my chi-tea latte....and...a cobblestone muffin. While I sat in a corner chair waiting for the nail salon to open, indulging in my yummy treat, I saw a family right outside the front glass doors. It appeared that they were finishing up eating in the patio area. I have no clue what was happening or being said because I couldn't hear them...I could only see them. What I saw was what appeared to be a mom, a dad, two girls...maybe 13 and 14, and a little boy who was having a serious meltdown. He was in full cry it out mode...and standing next to what appeared to be a cookie....on the ground. From my perch inside, I deducted that he had dropped his cookie on the ground, and now he was grieving. His mom patted him on the head and his sisters appeared to be updating their facebook status on their IPhones to "...and the little brother is annoying me again!!! LOL! Whatevs! #lame". That is when I saw ...something beautiful. The father came over to the little guy, knelt down next to him and pulled his son in towards him. Then he put his arms around him and just held him in a bear hug. I could see the boy's body shaking and he appeared to be crying a little harder with his face buried in his daddy's shoulder. My mind went back to a Biblical Counseling class I had in college. I remember my teacher explaining to us that often people's view of God is how they view their own father. For example, if their father was absent, they may struggle with feeling like God is never there or present for them...it affects their faith in knowing He cares. If their father was harsh and demanding they may struggle with feeling like God is always waiting for them to mess up, just waiting to pounce on them and show how they failed. Some who had fathers that never praised them or acknowledged their achievements might struggle with feeling like they are never good enough for God, that they are a disappointment to Him. I'm not here to debate philosophy or theology...but I do know there is some truth to that statement, because I have seen it myself. I started life...basically with no dad. I'm sure I have one, I just never met him and don't know who he is. Once I was adopted, I got my new daddy...Jerry Thomas. He has always loved me, always doted on me and not one day have I ever felt like my dad didn't love me. He makes me laugh, he has killed bugs for me, he has taught me...and he definitely helped shape my view of God. I struggled at first with the concept that God loved me....or that I even mattered to Him. As my relationship with my dad grew, my view of God did as well. My view of God is that He laughs with me...and thinks I'm amazing....after all I'm His kid and He did fearfully and wonderfully make me! He is always present and loves me with an everlasting love. I am incredibly thankful to Him because even though I wasn't His, he adopted me and loved me and made me His own...just like my daddy. I have had faith that could move mountains, knowing that God would heal my cancer, knowing that God would not fail me after a failed marriage, knowing that God was ever present in every bit of my life and cared...just like my dad. Friends, I'm not sure what you are dealing with that is causing your meltdown....I don't know if like that little boy you have lost something valuable to you. Maybe your job has become too much, maybe your marriage has failed or maybe you have lost a child. Please know this...God wants to come right to where you are, drop to His knees and envelop you in His love...His grace...His strength. If all you can do is bury your face in His shoulder and cry...that's alright with Him. He loves you right where you are. You can rest in that truth, and I hope for you, God just got a little sweeter just like He did for that little boy.