Leprosy...

I was sitting on the back row of our church auditorium.  It was another year of “Christmas in Ringgold”….an event that our church hosts every year.  Basically, it’s a Christmas Cantata stretched out over four weeks.  This year we are doing an event that attempts to cover the whole story of the Bible…with the Christmas story being just a part of it.  That’s why, last Sunday, there were lepers.  Yes….lepers.  We were covering the part in scripture where Jesus was on the earth doing miracles….teaching….and healing.  So, we had two teenage boys made up as lepers for Jesus to heal.  They had gauzy white head wraps as if to cover missing ears and injured heads.  They had hanging skin and scabs that our make-up artist had strategically placed all over their faces.  The make-up magic would happen when Jesus touched their heads, pulled the gauze down over their faces, pulling off all the flaky leprosy scabs….giving the appearance of them being healed.  It really was convincing.  So convincing…that before the service began…I was mildly annoyed with our lepers.  I have a semi-weak stomach when it comes to leprosy, and a few other things.  Before the service, we have these sweet ladies in red aprons that walk around with platters of all sorts of goodies….fudge, cookies…cinnamon bites and other delightful treats.  Here was the problem…the service had not started, but our lepers felt the need to wander around, in full make-up and costume.  Here’s the problem. As I sat on the back pew, within my line of vision from the left side came that platter of delicious scrumptious goodies…then from the right came the lepers.  It was too much for me to handle crunchy cookies, while looking at scabby leprosy…I just couldn’t do it.  It looked just a little too real for me.  Needless to say, there were no goodies for me.  So, the service started…I got up did my narration and the song began that our Jesus was going to perform His miracles in….including the healing of the lepers.  Here they came down the aisle…the crowd was hovering behind Jesus to stay away from the “unclean”.  They staggered in front of Jesus, and just like the Bible says, he healed the lepers….right in front of the church.  It was awesome to watch the miracles acted out….made me wish I had been there…back when those things really happened, just to see Jesus in action.  The song ended, and I was getting ready to go back up and narrate…when I saw something…..something rather unpleasant.  Both of our lepers had left their gauzy, flake encrusted wraps right on the floor where they landed when Jesus took them off.  Again, I was grossed out….even further bothered, because I knew I was going to have to grab them and fling them to the side out of the view of the audience. So I did it.  The lights went down; I hunched over on my way up to the stairs, grabbed the flaky grossness and flung them off stage….that was when it hit me.  They had left their sickness, disease, the flakes and all, right where Jesus had healed them.  Wow.  My mind started racing….connecting the dots….putting myself in that very song I had just watched performed.  See I wasn't there when the lepers were healed or Jarius’ daughter was raised to life or when the woman with the issue of blood was cured by her faith. I wasn't there when the Pharisees threw the woman found in adultery at the feet of Jesus….rocks in hand…ready to rid society of her filth.  (*Happy Dance*Tears While Typing*) Nope, I wasn't there for those miracles, but let me tell you what I was there for! I was there when He gloriously saved me from the worthless sinner that I am….I was there when He was the only Father I had, because my birth father never knew me….I was there when he gave me a hand-picked a family to love me, the orphan with no one….I was there when He used this worthless sinner to speak to hundreds of ladies over and over again as His mouthpiece….I was there when he restored me from the wreckage of a failed marriage…I was there when He healed me of cancer not once but 4 times…and my story is still being written.  The same miracles that enabled those lepers to leave their past right where Jesus had taken it off…have happened to me….and probably to you, too.  Let’s stop living like those bandages and scars define us…..by causing bitterness…anger…or wrecked relationships.  Let’s take those rags off and leave them….right where He meant for them to stay.  Your past doesn't define you….He does.  Step right over those gauzy, flaky rags and walk towards that platter, because He has all kinds of goodies in store for you.

Mrs. Harvey

Her name was Mrs. Harvey.  She had blonde, shoulder length, frosted hair that parted in the middle with feathered bangs on either side of her forehead.  She wore powder blue eye shadow and bright pink lip stick. She had a slender athletic build with a miniature waist that she always wore a thin belt around.  She wore shimmery dresses and nude pantyhose. Her shoes were peep toe kitten heels...and I thought she was the most beautiful person I had ever seen.  Her husband was a tall, dark and handsome pilot in the Air Force...I thought he was dreamy.  Mrs. Harvey had a powder blue Camaro with silver sparkles...the most amazing car I had ever seen.  She was my fourth grade teacher and I wanted to be her when I grew up.  She was always kind, always patient...and I idolized her.  One day, toward the end of the school year, Mrs. Harvey made an announcement.  Her husband, who had been stationed at McCord Air Force base there in Washington, had been stationed to another base...and so they would be moving. I was stunned. Sitting in my little desk, with the wooden lift top that let you keep all your stuff inside, I lifted the desk top to cover my tears.  How could this be? Mrs. Harvey was my teacher...and I needed her to stay. Why did she need to go with her husband? Confused and sad I just tried to process this in my head. It had never occurred to me that Mrs. Harvey had a life outside of the realm I knew her in.  I had never thought of her in a grocery store, or out with friends....or even as having parents she went to see at Christmas...I only knew her and thought of her as my teacher. In my world I confined her in this little box....and a teacher is all I viewed her as.  Have you ever done this with someone?  Ever put limits on them based on your own perception? I'm ashamed to say I have done this not only with Mrs. Harvey...but also with God.  I confined Him to my own perceptions of what He is...and not who He was? I knew He was the Great Physician...but didn't see Him as my Healer.  I knew that He was omni-present and all powerful....but didn't count on Him to be my refuge, and my very present help.  I was aware that He owned the cattle on a thousand hills, but didn't count on Him to supply my electric bill.  And yet...He does....and He is.  In my small little mind I had limited my God to what He had or had not done for me...when in fact, that couldn't be farther from the truth.  Isaiah 40 states that all the stars in the sky fit with in the span of His hand...that's the length from the tip of His thumb to the tip of His middle finger.  It goes on to say that all the waters in the oceans fit in the palm of His hand.  That's how big He is.  A God that big and that great can't be limited to just our experiences...we have to look at the whole picture....and the whole story, to see the magnitude and the miracles our God does.  It seems that each trial and each victory shows me a new aspect of my Savior.  He has healed me of cancer...not once, but 4 times. He has provided for me....every day of my life.  He has loved me...when no one else did.  He has always done exceedingly and abundantly above all that I could ever ask or think. His greatness isn't just evidenced in my life....it's been seen in the countless number Christians that have gone before me....and those I see every day.  Moses - murderer to leader. Rahab -  harlot to great faith. David - adulterer to a man after God's own heart.  Paul - persecutor to preacher...(fast-forward)...Valerie - cancer to healed. Chuck - homeless addict to a sold-out believer. Lisa - broken to restored.  Our stories are still being written....who knows what amazing aspect of God will be revealed to you in the next chapter of your life.  Just remember not to limit Him...we have not begun to see the greatness of our God.  He will blow you away with what He has in store...just like the wind used to blow through Mrs. Harvey's hair in her powder blue Camaro with silver sparkles.

Surprise! I'm not perfect!

I have a startling confession to make.  This is going to take some of you back…so…brace yourself….I…am not perfect.  I’m almost perfect…but not quite.  I have no toenail on my left big toe. As in nothing…just bare toe.  Due to this slight imperfection, I have to wear an acrylic toenail.  Once my toenail is on…my feet look fabulous.  My open toe and peep toe shoes look adorable…and no one can tell.  There is one problem with my fake toe nail…it doesn't stay on well.  One time I bumped it on a chair in court and it landed on the witness stand.  Another time I was in church and had a glass of tea next to my chair…something must have happened because the next thing I knew, I was drinking my toe nail. On my honeymoon I realized in the wee hours of the morning that it had come off in the bed.  I was like a ninja trying to comb my hands through the sheets so I could superglue my toenail back on before my husband woke up. It has a mind of its own and seems to pop off at the most inopportune times.  There is a way to make it pretty secure however.  It requires the perfect blend of acrylic, a nail tip, and superglue.  Now, I have been getting this done for years, and I know the way that works best.  The problem is, that every nail salon I go to thinks they know how to do it better.  I get tired of explaining myself….every time…to whoever gets assigned my pedicure.  Even people that have done it before, still continue to haggle with me over the right way to do it.  Just this past Saturday I had to explain, again, the proper way to do it.  It’s on, but he still didn't do it the right way.  As a result, this morning, I was putting on my superglue to hold it in place.  It got me thinking about some other things in my life.  I may be an expert on my toenail….but there are other things I really struggle with.  Ironically, I am quite a bit like my nail technician.   God has a whole book that spells out for me how to deal with life, trials and struggles….but I often insist on doing things my way.  As if I know better…as if I am an expert on life.  I stress about things like groceries and bills…when He tells me He will supply for every need.  I worry about my cancer coming back…when He clearly tells me that He won’t bring me through what I can not handle.  I try to manipulate situations to have outcomes that I want…when He tells me that He will work all things together for my good.  I worry about being alone in trials…when he tells me that He will never leave me or forsake me.  Chances are, you have found yourself in the same boat I have.  Trying to tell God what is best for our life and how it needs to work.  Isn't it tiring?  Aren't you ready to just rest in that peace that passes all understanding and cast all your cares upon Him?  I know I am.  So rather than mess things up, raise my blood pressure or have another sleepless night…I am going to do it His way.  That will be my only guarantee that I will be doing things right…and they will work…without superglue.

Rules

It was late and I was tired. Don't worry....I still looked fabulous, but I was tired. This has been an exhausting week of on-call for me beacause I have had to go out almost every evening. Once again my phone rang and so out the door I went. I headed out to pick up two children and place them in a foster home. Now, this may suprise you...but I'm a pretty laid back worker, as in I don't get worked up about much. This has led me to a list of rules that I follow in my work because they make my job a tiny bit less stressful. Rule #6: I don't chase runners...ever. If a kid is going to run from me, I let them go. That might sound strange to you, but I have a reason. Unless they are running towards me, I'm never going to catch them. They are trying to run away....that intent and goal makes them have even more speed because they are determined. I, on the other hand, can't put my hands on them so what would I do once I got to them? I can't hold them down, tackle or stop them....so why waste all that energy and let's not forget about my shoes! These shoes I wear are not made for running. On this particular call I was wearing black, lace covered Guess stillettos, with a patent leather bow just below the peep toe...they are simply divine. Anyway, I really just wanted to get this call over so I could get home. I arrive at my destination, get the kids and head to the car. That's when the five year old made a run for it. I wasn't particularly stressed...because he's five, his legs are shorter than mine, I mean how far could he really go. So I try my usual tactics like "Hey buddy, can you show me how your car seat works?" and "Little man, want some candy?". He would stop and listen then look like he was debating....and then start running again. So, I waited. The area was well lit...but in order to get away from me, he was going to have to run into the shadows and I guess that looked too scary for him. He would get close to the darknes and then sprint back into the light. Basically I was watching a five year old do a running shadow dance...I figured when he got tired he'd come back....and he did. Now I'm more tired and feeling a little frazzled, so I was relieved to get on the road and head to the foster home. Now, this house has a huge hill...actually, it's more like Mt. Everest, for their driveway. It's one of those that when you try to get out of your car you get beaten down by your car door that keeps trying to shut. So here I am in 4 inch stillettos trying to get out of the car on a hill.....needing to hold onto the car door just to get out and stay upright...but it keeps shutting on me. Mercifully, the foster mom sees me and heads out. She goes around and gets the little one out of his car seat, and I go to get the five year old out of his. The door is pushing on my hiney while I'm trying to unbuckle his 5 point harness seat, balancing on 4 inch stilettos....on the side of a Mt. Everest. My head keeps bumping into the kids head so he is now holding my head up by my bangs to keep me from bumping him anymore and kicking me with his cowboy boots. Sweet mother of mercy...I was so over it at this point. I get him unbuckled and hold the door open (feeling like I'm going to fall forward at any minute since I am now facing down hill in 4 inch stilettos)..and that's when he took off. I saw him running down the hill, but I thought how far can he really go...he's just five. Well let me tell you, that kid was part cheetah. I'm standing there (barely) with a laundry basket and a car seat...foster mom is holding a toddler and an open pack of diapers...and cheetah boy is running for his life right down the middle of the street. I attempt to climb up the hill towards the porch so I can put the clothes basket and the car seat down. However, there was no way i could do it in my shoes. I put the basket and seat down and had to take off my shoes...I wrestled with the car door again so I could throw my shoes in the front seat. Then, barefoot, I grabbed the basket and seat and put them on the porch. Meanwhile, foster mom had decided to take off after cheetah boy who was running for his life in those little cowboy boots. I see her running with a toddler in her arms, leaving a trail of diapers behind her. Rule #6: I don't chase runners...ever. Well, considering the cheetah boy appeared to be on his way to Michigan, I was going to have to make an exception. So, I got my chase on. Yep, I got in my car, backed down Mt. Everest and started after the boy. I couldn't see him or foster mom anymore, so I followed the trail of diapers. My windows were down and I could hear her yelling my name...I see her, with the toddler, and cheetah boy in tow. I had already removed the car seat....so he held my hand....through the widow, all the way back to the house and up Mt. Everest. Finally, in my bare feet, I get the kids placed and am on my way home...barefoot and completely frazzled. I was laughing out loud in my car just visualizing the whole fiasco. It's funny how in life we make a set of rules based on our experiences. Rules like, "I'll never marry becuase I don't trust men" or "I don't go to church because churches are full of hypocrites". Rules that define our life...but don't always make sense. Often we make these rules to protect ourselves from being hurt. Well I'm here to tell you, that your number 1 rule should be the same as mine....Be Flexible. God is going to bring, or maybe has brought already, so many opportunities into your life...and if you can't be flexible and put your heart and life out there...you may miss something amazing. Can I take it a step farther? Don't let anything stand between you and your relationship with God. If you have His direction and leading....just go with whatever it is. Don't let rules, caution or others stand between you and doing His will in your life. Just take off those stillettos, throw them in the front seat and head on after that cheetah that He wants you to pursue. After all, He's God, and He's got this.

Clouds

Today, I am thankful for clouds. Heading down the road the other day, I was surrounded by beautiful scenery, sunshine and cool temperatures. I loved looking at the vibrant trees and colors of fall. Interestingly though, not all the places were bright. There were some places that were dark and gray, patches of no color. I was confused at first and wonder if perhaps there had been random fires or if maybe a tornado had wiped out the area. Then I realized what was happening...there were clouds that were blocking the sun from hitting all of the hillside. The big white puffy clouds were beautiful suspended in the air, but casting shadows on the trees below. You know what's interesting about shadows...you can hide in them. The trees with the shadows were as beautiful as the others....colorful and alive...I just couldn't see them temporarily. A couple of months ago, I read a quote by Tyler Perry. He said, "Don't try so hard to be seen, sometimes God has you hidden for a reason". Several years ago, my marriage had ended, I lost a loved church and ministry...lost people I thought loved me and I was a single mom. Anger and bitterness had crept into my heart and taken over like a wildfire. Through a series of events the Lord impressed hard on me to move to Chicago. His leading was so direct in every step...and we landed in a little church called Beecher Baptist Fellowship. It was a small church filled with people who loved the Lord and loved others...that church was our cloud. I didn't sing in the choir...I didn't speak at ladies meetings and jubilees...I didn't work with the teens or even teach Sunday school...we just rested...and healed. Being removed from all that we knew gave us a renewed awareness of God's love, His grace and His voice. He was constantly emulated in that group of believers that banded around the boys and I and lavished love all over us. We were so broken and they were so kind. There are times in all of our lives when we have to, like those trees, be removed from the strong sun and heat of our lives...and like Ps. 91:1 says "...abide in the shadow of the Almighty." Things are different now...I have ministries I work in, am remarried...and life is very full. But I will never forget my time in the shadows and the healing that took place. I will never forget the love and compassion I experienced from that church that loved us...right where we were. May God help me to see when others are in the shadows of life and to be Him to them.

Leaves

I was sitting in my big comfy chair, legs stretched out on the ottoman and holding a warm mug of Chi-Tea. The house was quiet and the sun was setting. To the right of my chair just through the kitchen are french doors that look out into the back yard. Something caught my eye. There was a beautiful yellow leaf gently floating to the ground....followed by a red one and then a fiery orange leaf as well. Today, on November 1, 2013, I am thankful for leaves. These past few weeks our church has been having a sermon series about Hebrews 12: 1-2. There is a part in that passage that says "laying aside every weight...". I have spent some time reflecting on just what those weights are for me. They aren't always bad things, I mean the scripture goes on to say "...and the sin which does so easily beset us"...so I know the weights aren't necessarily sin. They are just things that weigh us down...maybe things that make our life harder. As I watched those leaves floating downward, it occured to me that they will never be back on that branch. Other leaves may come, but the fallen ones will never be back. They have been "laid aside". It's remarkable to me how different a tree looks without the beautiful ornamentation of the leaves. The leaves give bright buds of green foliage in the spring....followed by bursts of greenery....then slowly emblazening into reds and yellows...and then....they are gone. A bare tree...just branches and trunk. I've been there. I've been at those points in my life when God said, "Ok, it's time for everything to go". It was just me and Him. Times when I felt like my whole life had been stripped away. I had lost friends, a child, a church, a ministry, a marriage, my health...my hair. Stripped down...just me and Him. Somethings we choose to have leave our life but other things leave on their own. Either way, it hurts. I think sometimes we try too hard to hold on to things that are just weighing us down. Maybe it's a relationship that isn't good for us. Maybe it's a job that is holding us back from being where we need to be. Possibly it's a habit or addiction that is costing us way more than we ever intended to pay. You know what's really neat about the leaves falling off the branches? The branches start lifting higher as the weight falls off. They aren't overwhelmed by the mass anymore....they are free. Free. The leaves aren't necessary for the survival of the branch...they just make it a little prettier. What is it that you need to lay aside? What or who is weighing you down? Here is what I know...once those leaves are gone, they won't be back. The beauty of it is this, once they have left and you have had some time to lift back up...there will be room for some new leaves. My goal this year is to bud some pink glittery ones.

My View of God

Last Sunday afternoon, after church, I decided to go for my bi-monthly pedicure and fill-in. After all, it is the day of rest, how better to enjoy it than two hours away from my regular life sitting in a massage chair, feet soaking in warm bubbly water, a chi-tea latte from Panera and getting beautified. Well, I arrived a few minutes before they were opened, so naturally I just had to go to the Panera next door. That's where I got my chi-tea latte....and...a cobblestone muffin. While I sat in a corner chair waiting for the nail salon to open, indulging in my yummy treat, I saw a family right outside the front glass doors. It appeared that they were finishing up eating in the patio area. I have no clue what was happening or being said because I couldn't hear them...I could only see them. What I saw was what appeared to be a mom, a dad, two girls...maybe 13 and 14, and a little boy who was having a serious meltdown. He was in full cry it out mode...and standing next to what appeared to be a cookie....on the ground. From my perch inside, I deducted that he had dropped his cookie on the ground, and now he was grieving. His mom patted him on the head and his sisters appeared to be updating their facebook status on their IPhones to "...and the little brother is annoying me again!!! LOL! Whatevs! #lame". That is when I saw ...something beautiful. The father came over to the little guy, knelt down next to him and pulled his son in towards him. Then he put his arms around him and just held him in a bear hug. I could see the boy's body shaking and he appeared to be crying a little harder with his face buried in his daddy's shoulder. My mind went back to a Biblical Counseling class I had in college. I remember my teacher explaining to us that often people's view of God is how they view their own father. For example, if their father was absent, they may struggle with feeling like God is never there or present for them...it affects their faith in knowing He cares. If their father was harsh and demanding they may struggle with feeling like God is always waiting for them to mess up, just waiting to pounce on them and show how they failed. Some who had fathers that never praised them or acknowledged their achievements might struggle with feeling like they are never good enough for God, that they are a disappointment to Him. I'm not here to debate philosophy or theology...but I do know there is some truth to that statement, because I have seen it myself. I started life...basically with no dad. I'm sure I have one, I just never met him and don't know who he is. Once I was adopted, I got my new daddy...Jerry Thomas. He has always loved me, always doted on me and not one day have I ever felt like my dad didn't love me. He makes me laugh, he has killed bugs for me, he has taught me...and he definitely helped shape my view of God. I struggled at first with the concept that God loved me....or that I even mattered to Him. As my relationship with my dad grew, my view of God did as well. My view of God is that He laughs with me...and thinks I'm amazing....after all I'm His kid and He did fearfully and wonderfully make me! He is always present and loves me with an everlasting love. I am incredibly thankful to Him because even though I wasn't His, he adopted me and loved me and made me His own...just like my daddy. I have had faith that could move mountains, knowing that God would heal my cancer, knowing that God would not fail me after a failed marriage, knowing that God was ever present in every bit of my life and cared...just like my dad. Friends, I'm not sure what you are dealing with that is causing your meltdown....I don't know if like that little boy you have lost something valuable to you. Maybe your job has become too much, maybe your marriage has failed or maybe you have lost a child. Please know this...God wants to come right to where you are, drop to His knees and envelop you in His love...His grace...His strength. If all you can do is bury your face in His shoulder and cry...that's alright with Him. He loves you right where you are. You can rest in that truth, and I hope for you, God just got a little sweeter just like He did for that little boy.